I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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