If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
