Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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