I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
