i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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