Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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