i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
