No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
