I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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