im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
