first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
