you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
