Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
