How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
