it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
