i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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