When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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