it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
