the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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