at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
