her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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