I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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