Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
