i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
