"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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