You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My bed smells like the plague
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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