I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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