addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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