I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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