My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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