Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
