So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
