I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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