Already got asked if we're dating
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
