you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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