He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
