it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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