i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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