I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
