yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
