Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
