Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
