I'm really into asian looking animals
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
