these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
