You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
