I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
