In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
