wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
