the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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