they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
