hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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