remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i love accidental penises.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
