I wish I only lived at night.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
